Call it blogger burnout; call it a lamb hangover; call it mini-boot mobility, but I had to take a week off. I probably should not have done this because when I am not venting on page, I am internalizing life’s irritations and dreaming bad things. So now, in order to sleep properly, I will venture to upchuck the week’s woes in no particular order.
1. I quit drinking alcohol and eating sugar. I like drinking alcohol and eating sugar.
2. 20% of registered Pennsylvania voters admitted to not voting for Barack Obama because of his color (remember a while back when someone questioned his blackness?). If 20% are actually admitting this, what is the true percentage? It’s a sad testament to how far we as a people have yet to evolve.
3. A lot of people are bitter and cling to a myriad of things, be it religion, guns, alcohol, pet collecting, reading junk literature, and/or knitting (not that I’m talking personally here, really, believe me). Don’t shoot the messenger.
4. Hillary Clinton keeps lecturing me about my bed not being made and the dishwasher needing to be emptied. Then she tells me to hold my shoulders back and grounds me. (I think that was a dream, sorry, and no, my mother neither looks nor currently acts anything like Hillary Clinton.)
5. I am on a diet. See #1.
6. Don’t tell anyone but I miss reading the erotica in romance novels. This shakes me to my core. Call tech support; my file has been corrupted. I must have a virus. Doctor, doctor, give me the news; I have a bad case of loving Jews (sorry, I couldn’t think of a way to rhyme news with sex and I have a lot of Jewish friends who I love so there; I could use some suggestions).
7. “Dynasty” was a bad eighties television show; it is not a way to describe presidential rule.
8. Television news sucks (except for the Newshour on PBS). ABC’s debate moderators suck worse. Lapel pins suck. (They ruin the weave.)
9. My skin is turning into tissue paper and my upper arms have a mind of their own if their constant flapping for attention is any indication. And I’ve used the Bowflex twice now!
10. Did I mention I’m on a diet and I quit drinking alcohol and eating sugar?
And now for the glass half full folks:
1. I got my knitting mojo back and am working on a linen neckline panel for a dress I plan to sew when I am the right size to make sewing a dress worth the effort. Notice I said when and not if. This is one of David’s think positive tactics.
2. The Pint-Sized Farmer is finally wearing underwear which gives our indoor plumbing a reason for being. It’s nice when pipes feel needed.
3. It’s also nice not having hangovers (not that I ever drank enough to get one, honest).
4. My triceps are sore. This is a good thing as it shows a spark of progress.
5. I like eating sautéed spinach with poached or scrambled eggs (farm fresh!) for breakfast. I love homemade fruit smoothies. I love salad with baby greens, fresh mushrooms, tomatoes, green onions, a dab of canned salmon, and miso dressing. I love plain lowfat yogurt. I love iced green tea. This diet stuff isn’t all that bad (except for the no sugar or alcohol part; I really should have done this during Lent to put some points in the “UP” column).
6. Not drinking has not made me more efficient. This could be viewed as a bad thing except that when I once again weigh 125 pounds and I allow myself to drink again, I won’t miss my new old self. When.
7. I voted my conscience and in consideration of the issues that matter to me. I was not swayed by the scurrilous and/or nonsensical claims of talking heads repeated ad nauseam by vapid pundits.
8. I’m going to get back into my skinny jeans.
9. Apollo was lost but now is found, never blind but still can see.
10. Despite all my moaning and groaning, we still live in the best country on Earth (though I still dream of my wee sheep farm in County Kerry or Cork with an Irish Pub within drinking distance, aye, I do).
UPDATE: I received a wonderful email from my dear NC friend, Bernice, and had to add an excerpt since she is woe to comment: "I gave up alcohol 2 years ago for lent. I was such a bitch, the minister even asked me to start drinking." Gotta love the woman! (I do.)