Baby care fact #1: The amount of times the hounds bay and the telephone rings is directly proportional to the time of day one tries to put a toddler down for a nap. This makes Gramma stress out and crave a beer at 11 am. She does not give in to temptation because she must be “responsible” as she is now caring for said toddler full-time. She would say this is a bit of a Catch-22 except she often craved a beer around noon as it was before the pint-sized arrived.
Yesterday, we were visited by a large group of T-touch professionals, here to watch an alpaca training session with the world famous expert on alpaca training, Marty McGee Bennett. Truly. We met her through happenstance at the T-touch seminars that went on all this week for which we provided our dogs. She was very nice, agreed to come see our alpacas and potentially work with them, and she thought a few people might like to watch. Well, a few people turned into this; I’d say there were about 100 people standing around the big yard watching Marty halter and rub down our alpacas. At least twenty cars filled the circular driveway and half of 161st Street. As the group of mostly women arrived, they began by taking photos of Jessica’s bumper stickers: “Friends Don’t Let Friends Vote Republican,” “Think, It’s Patriotic,” and another I won’t mention here because it is too liberal for even me and it would hurt Aunt Bonnie’s feelings. Let’s just say it has something to do with her lack of religion. Someday she’ll come around, Bon, you didn’t always feel the way you do now. Well, everyone loved the stickers. You have to realize this very nice group could be described as the bra burners of the sixties forty years later. They all easilygot the roach clip joke Marty made as a comparison to the clip on the end of her catch wand.
As the growing group of T-touchers filled the big yard, the sheep became very nervous (and we aren’t even in Texas
or whatever state featured in that old joke.) Charlotte
and Cookie ran and leapt hither and there, unable to decide if any place was truly safe from the marauders while Leroy Brown and Carmela hid in the back corner of the pen, hoping no one would notice them. The goats warily stayed in the pen as well, but in full view, looking around and wondering what they were to be subjected to now. The alpacas just froze, their saucer eyes picking up every movement and nuance, their ears flicking forward and back, attempting to catch a word or two to enlighten them to the meaning of this homosapien invasion. The humans oohed and aahed at the beasts, their lovely eyes that have no blind spot, their handsome faces full of emotion.
We herded them into the catch pen by forming a line they could not cross, sort of Red Rover without the attempt to bust through the people. Once in the pen, Marty worked her magic, easily roping them one at a time, rubbing their heads and necks, something I have never been able to do, and haltering them as if it required no effort whatsoever. I want her to come live with us; her husband might not mind too much, do you think?
Regardless, it all went well. As soon as the demonstration was over, the crowd left quickly, dispelling any fears I had of having to feed and/or libate one hundred animal trainers. Our neighbors, John and Mo, stayed for a quick chat, a small beer, and a dozen chicken and duck eggs after which Anthony, David, and I settled into bed for a late evening showing of “Lady and the Tramp.”
After all the week’s activity, I am doing my best today to do less and take a semi-day off, that is, after farm chores, feeding dogs, cats, and children, doing the perfunctory and mandatory two loads of laundry, bathing and dressing the toddler better than I dress myself, and cleaning the kitchen. I might actually find time to knit. I know I keep saying this; but life is good.