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Who or What is She?

  • She calls herself Lauren but is also known as Mom, Gramma, Lar, and, once upon a time, Peach.
    An ex-suburbanite who moved to the wilds of the Sonoran Desert and decided to raise fiber animals, fowl creatures, 3 halflings, and one pint-sized farmer without a clue as to how. Join Lauren as she learns how to file alpaca teeth, shear a horny goat, raise 3 teenagers and 1 grandchild while cooking dinner and doing the laundry with her other six arms.

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April 20, 2007



Take a deep breath.

It's the ugly side to farming, but you did your very best to give them paradise for the time they were here on Earth. I admire DtheH for doing the deed...I cannot bring myself to it, and so will be spending the weekend building another chicken shelter for the lower lot so we can separate our two big boys and try and create a two-team farm. But if that fails, I don't know how we'll last until the tailgate sale in May...I can't have them tearing each other apart. (That follows the "singing" contests by a few weeks, BTW)

We have "Right-to-Farm-Life" laws on the books in most towns in NYS to prevent the city fools from moving into rural areas and trying to "cleanse" the countryside of farm qualities deemed offensive to their ideal Country-view-and-space Real Estate Appreciation Plan.

Beth in WI

Congratulations to Dave the Brave for getting in there and Doing What Needed To Be Done. I will have to look into those Right-To-Farm-Life laws. Didn't know there were any! I always give a secret cheer for the big old hog farm surrounded by ugly new houses. Can't say you didn't know THAT was there, folks.

Beth in WI

Melanie, can you update the link? "I don't think that means what you think it means." (The Princess Bride)



I don't know how that portion of my posting turned into a link, but it wasn't meant to. What the laws basically say is that people cannot move into an area with existing farms and attempt to zone or litigate them out of existence or into restrictions because some aspect of the farm is "unappealing" or "damaging" to potential property value. Those persnickity people moved out to the country and the farm was already there. They can't decide after the fact that it is no longer appealing. I think the test case was someone who wanted to penalize and restrict a hog farmer because the stink interfered with their newly-installed outdoor hot tub and deck entertainment area, even though the farm had existed for decades.


Yup. Been there, done that. And I'm with you - I know it's necessary, but don't like doing it. I always ask the Powers That Be to forgive me when I do it...even when it was the Blue Slate we had for Thanksgiving Dinner and shared with all our friends.

Hopefully, David the Husband didn't have to do it out in the wind today! I've had to get out a heat lamp for our newbies as we're supposed to have snow tonight and tomorrow! Uff Da!

Tina T-P

Sorry about the roosters - they are always so much fun to watch & listen to - I've maintained from the start of this farm thing, that if I had to kill my own food (other than a stray potato now and then) I'd be a vegetarian - Luckily for our sheep, neither John nor I like lamb - so when they get sold, I try to pretend they are going as pets -

Just read Kathy's blog & looks like they have two on the ground - way to go Lacey. T.


Is he swinging the chickens by their feet before he puts em' on the chopping block? Grab them by the feet and swing them in a softball pitch type motion around and around and they get stunned and it isn't as hard to give the final death blow. Just a tip for the next time.


When I lived in Mexico City in the 60's and rode local rural buses to various locations, you'd see the women climb on the buses with roosters and hens hanging like purses from their arms. They'd tie the feet together and then use that as a handle over their arms. In the beginning I worried about getting pecked at by the birds while we were on the bus. But the blood rushes to their head and basically stupifies them -- they go catatonic and become perfectly immobile after a bit. Interesting thing to watch.


Girlfriend, check your zoning laws. If you're zoned to own farm animals, I have to assume that the noise provisions are different for your spot than they would be out in the middle of Scottsdale or downtown Phoenix. It may be that you can tell those grumps to bite you. Too late for Lemon and Spyro, but maybe soon enough for Slick.

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