A Fowl Day

It’s a hard morning on the farm today, a day that even though I eat the fowl regularly without qualm one, I dread. It’s Rooster Eliminating Day. The pullets and cockerels from our latest incubation are growing and, although we haven’t identified which are which, the older roosters are, for one, pecking at them, and for two, crowing more frequently and loudly than ever. I suppose they are trying to show their dominance but it’s too much and they have to go. (As I write this, they are going.)

Me? I have no problem with the sound of roosters crowing. It inspires me, encourages my dreams of someday living on a real farm.

David the Husband, however, has a real problem with it because he is concerned about disturbing the neighbors, most of whom have assured us they like the sound for similar reasons that I do. Yet, a few grumps always stand out and want the roosters and their instinctual noise gone.

Well, I hope you’re happy you people who-move-to-the-country-and-complain-that-it-is-not-more-like-Scottsdale. My husband is covered in spattered cock blood and the flock is very quiet and wary of what is to come.

If we were into voodoo (which rest assured we are not), I suppose our sacrificial requirements are met for now. I don’t understand how chopping off a rooster’s head would help anything other than noise pollution levels; however, if it helps, please send some good mojo our way.

Also, send some good thoughts to poor David the Husband who doesn’t like administering the death blow any more than I like it being done. Hunny, thank you for not holding me to my promise of being the next to do the dirty deed. Just the thought of it being done is enough to make me hyperventilate.

So long Lemon; so long Spyro. Slick, you are still amongst the land of the strutting only because I helped bring you into this world and argued your case for a temporary reprieve. Please be quiet for both our sakes; your life depends on it.

Comments

[melanie]

Take a deep breath.

It's the ugly side to farming, but you did your very best to give them paradise for the time they were here on Earth. I admire DtheH for doing the deed...I cannot bring myself to it, and so will be spending the weekend building another chicken shelter for the lower lot so we can separate our two big boys and try and create a two-team farm. But if that fails, I don't know how we'll last until the tailgate sale in May...I can't have them tearing each other apart. (That follows the "singing" contests by a few weeks, BTW)

We have "Right-to-Farm-Life" laws on the books in most towns in NYS to prevent the city fools from moving into rural areas and trying to "cleanse" the countryside of farm qualities deemed offensive to their ideal Country-view-and-space Real Estate Appreciation Plan.

[Beth in WI]

Congratulations to Dave the Brave for getting in there and Doing What Needed To Be Done. I will have to look into those Right-To-Farm-Life laws. Didn't know there were any! I always give a secret cheer for the big old hog farm surrounded by ugly new houses. Can't say you didn't know THAT was there, folks.

[Beth in WI]

Melanie, can you update the link? "I don't think that means what you think it means." (The Princess Bride)

[melanie]

Beth-

I don't know how that portion of my posting turned into a link, but it wasn't meant to. What the laws basically say is that people cannot move into an area with existing farms and attempt to zone or litigate them out of existence or into restrictions because some aspect of the farm is "unappealing" or "damaging" to potential property value. Those persnickity people moved out to the country and the farm was already there. They can't decide after the fact that it is no longer appealing. I think the test case was someone who wanted to penalize and restrict a hog farmer because the stink interfered with their newly-installed outdoor hot tub and deck entertainment area, even though the farm had existed for decades.

[Kathy]

Yup. Been there, done that. And I'm with you - I know it's necessary, but don't like doing it. I always ask the Powers That Be to forgive me when I do it...even when it was the Blue Slate we had for Thanksgiving Dinner and shared with all our friends.

Hopefully, David the Husband didn't have to do it out in the wind today! I've had to get out a heat lamp for our newbies as we're supposed to have snow tonight and tomorrow! Uff Da!

[Tina T-P]

Sorry about the roosters - they are always so much fun to watch & listen to - I've maintained from the start of this farm thing, that if I had to kill my own food (other than a stray potato now and then) I'd be a vegetarian - Luckily for our sheep, neither John nor I like lamb - so when they get sold, I try to pretend they are going as pets -

Just read Kathy's blog & looks like they have two on the ground - way to go Lacey. T.

[Tori]

Is he swinging the chickens by their feet before he puts em' on the chopping block? Grab them by the feet and swing them in a softball pitch type motion around and around and they get stunned and it isn't as hard to give the final death blow. Just a tip for the next time.

[Karalyn]

When I lived in Mexico City in the 60's and rode local rural buses to various locations, you'd see the women climb on the buses with roosters and hens hanging like purses from their arms. They'd tie the feet together and then use that as a handle over their arms. In the beginning I worried about getting pecked at by the birds while we were on the bus. But the blood rushes to their head and basically stupifies them -- they go catatonic and become perfectly immobile after a bit. Interesting thing to watch.

[Carrie]

Girlfriend, check your zoning laws. If you're zoned to own farm animals, I have to assume that the noise provisions are different for your spot than they would be out in the middle of Scottsdale or downtown Phoenix. It may be that you can tell those grumps to bite you. Too late for Lemon and Spyro, but maybe soon enough for Slick.