The War of the Terry Cloth

Tomorrow, I will get back to the three (and only three) reality shows that I like, though there seems to be a bit of controversy about that as Pixel Pi does not think “How Clean Is Your House?” is a reality show at all. I can see her point (and I thank her for the Nice Matters Award, too). No competition takes place but it is full of REAL people and not actors and there are many gross-out moments so I proclaim it reality. To keep everyone happy, the next two do have contests.

A different sort of contest is going on in my house right now. My rapier is drawn and I am ready to lunge and parry. En garde, les enfants!

Last Thursday, every towel in my house was thoroughly laundered, complete with lemon ammonia added to the Tide, vinegar included in the rinse water, and “Fresh Breeze” Downy measured into the place where fabric softener goes to die. The used-to-hold-a-TV-but-now-used-for-linen-storage armoire was packed full of newly laundered terry cloth goodness.

Today, it is empty and my laundry room, which I just cleaned out last week as well, runneth over. Twenty two towels filled that cabinet; four people use the towels stored there; five days have past. My frickin’ children (and I say that with the greatest love) are using the towels once, ONCE, and then throwing them either in the laundry room (if I’m lucky) or on their floors. Bath towels are not Kleenex, dang it!

I have told these uncaring minions a million and one times that, after showering and drying off, they need to hang up their towels on these wonders-of-home-convenience called racks, rods, and loops. We have all three, depending on the bathroom in use. I told them that as a child, I was expected to make the same towel last all week long which I did after trudging ten miles in the snow to work in the coal mine for 12 hours each day. (I made up that last part but it adds a little something to the story, don’t you think?)

Yet, they refuse to do it. So guess what? I’m not washing their stinkin’ towels any more. It’s high time everyone did some real pitching in around these parts. And if they don’t? They can drip dry like the fine washables they are for all I care. And they better not raid our linen closet. Hell hath no fury like a housewife harried.

I don’t know how long this battle of wills can carry on but I am telling you right now, as blog readers are my witness, I will never wash a singly used towel again (Picture me proclaiming this on arthritic knees with a fistful of laundry soap in my prune-fingered hands while fiercely glaring at the washer.)

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a serious come-to-Jesus meeting scheduled with the dogs about their irresponsible shedding and, with it, a lesson on proper vacuuming techniques.

Comments

[Michelle]

I think you'd better put a lock on your master linen closet post haste. THEN you can sit back and relax a bit while the dears retrieve their soggy towels from the piles! (You ARE sure that the Three Duckateers aren't commandeering the terry cloth, aren't you?)

[Carrie]

Stay strong! And let the dogs shed all they want. Wet-dog-hair towels might cause them to learn to hang up their towels more quickly. Better yet, wash them, give them each one, and hide ALL the rest. Get an offsite storage unit if you have to.

[PixelPi]

I'm with the enforced towel limit, too. Hand them out, all others under lock and key. Towel exchanges once a week.

OK, I agree that since the Cleaning Ladies are dealing with real people's dirt and nauseating crud, it's a reality show. That means, though, that all those gardening shows and room makeover home improvement solder your copper pipes shows are reality shows too. That means, by definition, that I *DO* watch reality TV.

I'm so ashamed of myself. sob. sob.

[Julie]

We use to have come-to-Jesus meetings with errant students to help them see the Way of good behavior and doing one's homework. Had one teacher who really could put the fear of God into them. But so far it hasn't worked in the Land of Giants. They just keep shedding away even though not as much as most dogs.

[Michele]

I read your story and laugh, because as luck would have it, I had to dry myself off from a fabulous tubby time with a HAND TOWEL last night....the minions in my kingdom made off with every last stinking towel, even raiding my private stash in my own linen closet!Nothing is sacred anymore......I can only hope my grandkids treat them with the same respect..........

[Lauren]

If my daughter doesn't hang her towel up after her bath, she doesn't have a towel there the next day. I'd hoped this would help her actually remember to hang it up, but it's met with mixed results. Good luck!

[melanie]

Lauren- I applaud your efforts, and wish you the best success.

When we first got together, my DH suffered from One Day syndrome. When I inquired why, he told me that in drying off from the shower, said towel touched his "family jewels" and therefore, was in need of washing. I tried to apply logic (my downfall every time...) and pointed out that if he showered effectively, then said jewels were clean, and the towel merely absorbed errant water drops. Right? I thought so...I tried to press my point, and was met with increasing exasperation, when he finally threw up his arms and said, "Fine! I'll do the laundry. Does that make you happy?" It does indeed. And he uses one towel each day. My sense of conservation and ecology won't allow me to do the same, so I use one per week, unless the coal dust gets too thick...

[Julie]

I have been thinking about your towel dilemma and thought of a couple of ideas that you may have already tried. Give each of the kidlets one or two towels for the week and the towels would need to be two of the same color for each kid. That would require four sets of towels in four different colors. Then have them bring the towels or put them out on a certain day each week for laundry. One thing by the color coding you would be able to know who the towel dumper culprit is. Unless, of course, they read your blog and get the idea and then gang up on you by dumping all the towels. But I would still make them come get them out of the pile and use their own towel until exchange time. ;-)) Or you could just remove all towels and let the kids air dry until they get the idea.

[Woody's Mom]

At one point, I had 3 teens at home. The Girl would use two towels for each shower. The Boys would use one towel (gee, thanks) which promptly landed on their bedroom floor.

Around the time they turned 16, I stopped doing their laundry. "Their laundry" was anything in their rooms. "But the towel is still wet/musty/crusty" I would hear... and then the washer would magically start... after said complainer dried off with an object of their clothing... one teen actually shaved all his body hair off to make him more aero-dynamic and quick drying under the blow dryer, when push came to push.

I also kept a private stash of towels in MY bedroom.