Dateline Rancho Laurena: Once again, on this pretend farm, a mistake has been made as to the correct sex of one of its animals. Magic the Duck, once a timid house duckling, has adjusted to life in the Pen of Misfit Fowl and let his, yes his, maleness assert itself.
As witnessed by this file photo, Magic has acquired what is known as a drake feather, the curled section just before his tail, and his quack has become low and muffled.
This Barry White quality to his voice has gotten the attention of Tonks, once completely bonded to Lupin, who follows Magic wherever he paddles with a look of longing in her eyes and a quiver to her bill.
Lupin, once a happy go lucky duck, has grown despondent as a result. His depression is quite visible (note the prostrated duck behind the happy couple) and counselors have been called in to help him and any others who feel in need of therapy.
Even Peeps, the Mallard hen who has in the past solely devoted herself to Daffy, seen here in the far background, has been eyeing Magic and wondering if his name has a deeper, more physical meaning. Quoted Peeps, “A duck has needs too, you know.”
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, once again an error made by incompetent farmers has led to mass confusion in birddom. Can and will this travesty ever end?