One day last week, as I was struggling with demons real and imagined, I had a sudden urge to drive to Vermont. Now I realize it is a long way to Vermont and I also understand it is the middle of winter and Vermont is a very cold and snowy place. Yet, impractical person that I can be spent a good day planning my trip. Never mind that no laundry was done, leaving me to think I was going to have to find a Goodwill along the way in order to stay both non-odiferous and un-arrested. Heaven forbid I tackle the still un-navigable laundry room and actually clean my clothes. Never mind that the truck (four-wheel drive, I have some sense) needs new tires and, above all, never mind that I would insist on taking my traveling buddy, Robert, who just returned to school after winter break. Whether it was from too many viewings of Newhart (the inn one, not the psychologist one) or too few covered bridges seen in my lifetime, I wanted to go.
Then I Mapquested. 40 hours. Ouch, even I am not that impractical.
You see, I am trying to make some major changes in my approach to my dumb disease. This was my main New Year’s Resolution and I actually began it before New Years, i.e. Boxing Day. The meds don’t work, flush ‘em; the doctor’s not helping me, fire him. It’s time to bring in the big guns of naturopathic and integrative medicine, plus a few other weapons. Letting go of years of chemicals whose worth I am either still unsure of or have demonized has been an adjustment and my writing has obviously suffered but I am trying to be back. Plus it is so hard to go without vices; I’ve always thought one needs at least a few.
Granted, someday I’d still like to go to Vermont, albeit with clean laundry and well-treaded tires, and hopefully with the whole family but for now, I’ll put it on my “bucket list” and hope I have a long time to cross it off.
Lots of love to all of you and thanks for your patience.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll tell you how Hunky Husband just this week wrestled a coyote out of the old (and empty) turkey coop and came away with small bruises and a big story as proof. The things that man can do.